Occupation:
Custodian of Springfield Elementary School.
Nationality: Scottish.
Physique: Muscular.
Favorite problem solving device:Shotgun.
Attitude: Surly, especially when confronted
by Principal Skinner.
Stuff he has called Skinner: "Bath-taking,
underpants-wearing, lily-hugger", "Croquet-playing mint-muncher".
Extracurricular:
* Ran a haggis stand at the school carnival. "Get yer haggis, right
here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as
good as it sounds. Good for what ails ya!"
* Tamed a wild wolf that broke into the school.
* Viewed video of Selma Bouvier from "Low Expectations Dating Service".
* Secretly videotapes couples in their cars.
* Cleared Homer of sexual harassment charges against a baby-sitter (with
a videotape).
* Member of the Stonecutters.
* Taught French class at Springfield Elementary due to budget cuts. "Bonjourrrrr,
you cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys!"
* Was tormented by Nelson Muntz during detention duties.
{right}
"If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill
the whole lot of ya, and burn yer town to cinders!"
