to "Listen, you big, stupid, space creature. Nobody, but nobody eats the Simpsons!" (Hungry are the Damned #7F04)

"I'll get right to the point. I'm getting older, fatter, and uglier... help me find a man before it's too late." (Principal Charming #7F15)

to and while they taunt each other: "Quiet, you kids! If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons and Lisa doesn't get to go to college!" (Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? #7F16)

shreds the family quilt: "My quilt! Six generations, ruined!" "Now, Marge, honey, honey, honey. Come on. Come on, don't get upset. It's not the end of the world. We all loved the quilt, but you can't get too attached to... (He sees that the dog ate the cookie he left in the room). Guuuaaah!! My cookie!!! This is not happening! This is not happening! (Homer buries his face in his hands and finally looks up) Everybody in the kitchen! We're having a family meeting! " (Bart's Dog Gets an F #7F14)


"Eenie meenie miney moe: Is Homer a hero? The answer, employees, is...no."
(Homer Defined #8F04)

Right before the nuclear meltdown: "Sir, there may never be another time to say... I love you, sir.
"Oh, hot dog. Thank you for making my last few moments on Earth socially awkward." (Homer Defined #8F04)

on 's brief tenure at the Quickie Mart: "He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers. Still, there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had." (Lisa's Pony #8F06)

"Marge, let's end this feudin' and a fussin' and get down to some lovin'." (Colonel Homer #8F19)

"When I was a kid we were playing with bottle rockets and one shot straight up my nose. I permanently lost my sense of taste and smell." (Black Widower #8F20)

to "Although I'm sure I will receive a severe wedgie from my busmates, I must remind you we should have been at school ten minutes ago." (The Otto Show #8F21)

"Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film 'The Neverending Story'." Hutz's response to Homer being thrown out of an all-you-can-eat restaurant. (First New Kid on the Block #9F06)

after seeing 's dating service video: "Ach! Back to the loch with ye, nessie!" (Selma's Choice #9F11)

to "Do you want to play John Wilkes Boothe or do you want to act like a maniac?" (I Love Lisa #9F13)

"Did you know that so-called 'volunteers' don't even get paid??" (The Old Man and The Lisa #4F17)

"Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum!" (Cape Feare #9F22)

"Oral thermometer, my eye! Think warm thoughts, boy, 'cause this is mighty cold!" (Marge Gets a Job #9F05)

"Hello, Simpson, I'm riding the bus today because Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it." (Nightmare at 5 1/2 Feet #1F04)

Referring to 315lb : "I heard that guy's ass has it's own congressman." (King Size Homer #3F05)

finding out that may be pregnant: "You're a machine, Homer!" (I Married Marge #8F10)

"WooHoo! WooHoo! Yeah! She's gonna marry me! In your face, everybody!" (Honking his horn and flashing his headlights after Marge accepts his proposal.) (I Married Marge #8F10)

(To her class.) "Here are your final report cards. I have nothing left to say to any one of you. So, if nobody minds, let's quietly run out the clock." (Kamp Krusty #8F24)