Age:
36.
Weight: Somewhere between 239 and 260
lbs.
Highest weight: 315 lbs.
Occupation: Safety Inspector, Sector 7-G,
Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.
Past employment record: Mall Santa, Miniature golf, Pin
Monkey at Barney's Bowl-a-Rama, Gulp 'N Blow, Quickie Mart, proprietor of
"Mr. Plow" plowing service, monorail conductor, musician (The
B-Sharps), blackjack dealer in Mr. Burns' Springfield casino, teacher, manager
to country singer Lurleen Lumpkin, Mr. Burns' assistant while Smithers vacationed,
boxer, manager at the Globex Corporation in Cypress Creek, voice of cartoon
dog "Poochie".
Favorite Foods: Donuts, Pork Rinds Lite,
Krusty Burgers, and any pork product.
Favorite beverage: Duff Beer.
Favorite movie: "Look Who's Oinking".
Favorite cassette to listen to while on a road
trip: "Rappin' Ronnie Reagan".
Favorite Restaurant: Greasy Joe's Bottomless
BBQ Pit.
Awards: Received First Annual Montgomery
Burns Awards for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence and
won burping contest at the Power Plant.
High school reunion awards: Most weight
gained, most improved odor, most hair lost, oldest car, lowest-paying job,
least distance traveled to get to the reunion.
Catch phrases: "Mmmmmmm..."
when tempted, "DOH!!" when upset, and "Woohoo!" when
happy.
Extracurricular:
* Mistaken for Bigfoot.
* Falsely accused Krusty the Clown of robbery.
* Bought a haunted house for a buck.
* Became team mascot for the Springfield Isotopes.
* Stole cable.
* Discovered long lost brother Herb.
* Got stuck in tubes of "H2Woooah" water ride at Mount Splashmore.
* Lost 21 pounds.
* Gained 61 pounds to be put on disability and work at home.
* Got back down to original weight after Mr. Burns paid for liposuction.
* Caught "General Sherman", a freakishly big catfish.
* Committed to a mental institution.
* Averted a nuclear meltdown.
* Bought Lisa a pony to win her love.
* Invented "The Flaming Moe".
* Played for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant baseball team.
* Invented his own religion.
* Had a triple bypass operation.
* Arrested for drunk driving.
* Went back to college to take Nuclear Physics 101.
* Had crush on Mindy Simmons, a new worker at the plant.
* Went into space as a NASA astronaut.
* Declared Ned Flanders as his best friend (for one episode).
* Charged with sexual harassment after pulling a Gummi Venus
de Milo off a babysitter's butt.
* Member of the Stonecutters.
* Visited the third dimension.
* Belonged to the "Pin Pals" bowling team.
* Had wicked hallucinations after eating chili laced with potent
Guatemalan Peppers.
* Saw an "alien" in the woods.
* Joined the Naval Reserves.
* Worked for IRS after failing tax audit.
* Interrupted a U2 concert to campaign for sanitation manager.
* Climbed Springfield's highest mountain.
* Became spokesperson for "Powersauce" bars.
* Coached a pee-wee football team and gave Bart special treatment.
* Bought a gun and joined the NRA (with disastrous resuts).
* Quit job at plant to become an inventor (like his idol, Thomas Edison).
* Inventor of the "Electric Hammer", the "Everything's
OK Alarm", the "Make-Up Gun", the "Lazy Man reclining
Toilet Chair", and the "Six-legged Chair".
* Lost potential millions when Edison was given credit for 2 of Homer's
inventions.
* Donated a kidney to Grampa.
* Rescued Mark Hammil from a pack of nerds at a science fiction convention.
* Was Mayor Quimby's bodyguard.
* Was personal assistant to Kim Basinger and Alec baldwin.
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