"Oh geez, Lou, how long are you gonna let me keep drinking this thing??"
(Drinking squishee poured from the very machine Apu's dead, mangled body
was found in at the Kwik-E-Mart.) (Treehouse of Horror IX)
 to 
after abducting her from the backyard: "Congratulations! You have been
selected for our cross breeding program. To put you at ease, we have selected
the most common spawning locations of your species. You may choose from
the back of a Camaro, an airplane bathroom, a friend's wedding, or the back
of a porno theater." (Treehouse of Horror IX)
 (Taking family
to the car wash.) "All right, young'uns, bath time. Cover up your eyes
and drop your britches. Who wants wax? " (Viva Ned Flanders)
 "What's the matter,
Moe?"  "Oh,
business is slow. People today are healthier and drinking less. You know,
if it wasn't for the junior high school next door, no one would even use
the cigarette machine." (Flaming Moe's)
to
about her affair with :
"How could you?! You intergalactic hussy!! <sobs> Was he better
than me?" (Treehouse of Horror IX)
 "I insist
you take special care with my collection of valuable and humorous bumper
stickers, particularly this one, which was given to me by a Harrison Ford
look-alike." (Viva Ned Flanders)
(To everyone he sees
after seeing the movie "Zorro") "You insulted my honor, Sir.
I demand satisfaction! I challenge you to a duel! Will you duel or are you
a coward?" (After scaring Snake away at the movie theater, squirts
an "H" with a ketchup bottle on Marge's body.)
 "How do you
do it, Homer? How do you silence that little voice that says, 'think'?"
"Oh, that. That
can be treated with our good friend alcohol! You might want to write that
down. Where the hell's your notebook?" (Viva Ned Flanders)
"The alien has
a sweet, heavenly voice... like Urkel! And he appears every Friday night...
like Urkel!" "Well,
your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean, uh, Simpson. So, I'll
just type it up on my invisible typewriter!" (raises his arms and starts
typing on air in sarcasm and starts humming.) (The Springfield Files)
(Ordering an alcoholic
drink for the first time) "I'll have a Shirley ... no, a Virgin ...
no! Make it a children's ... Oh, what the heck, you only live once. Give
me a white wine spritzer!!" (echos) (Viva Ned Flanders)
"Are you sure
this is the Sci-Fi Convention? It's full of nerds!" (Mayored to the
Mob)
 "My prices
are so low, you'll think I suffered brain damage!" Homer's 'Mr. Plow'
commercial (Mr. Plow)'
 "Could
this record-breaking heat wave be the result of the dreaded 'Greenhouse
Effect'? Well, if 70-degree days in the middle of winter are the `price'
of car pollution, you'll forgive me if I keep my old Pontiac." (Mr.
Plow)'
"Stupid gun...
you cost me everything, my family, my friends... everything but my precious
precious gun"
"Now you're overstimulated.
Let's get some beer in you and get you to bed!"
(Running around in circles) WOO HOO! Beer beer beer bed bed bed!!!
 "Remember
when your dog ate my goldfish and you lied to me and said I never had a
goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?"
(Canine Mutiny)
"I like my
beers cold and my homosexuals flaming." (Homer's Phobia)
(About the secret
to looking so young at 60) "Listen folks, there's no magic formula.
I just follow the three "c"s: clean living, chewing thoroughly,
and a daily dose of vitamin 'church'!" (Viva Ned Flanders)
(Intoxicated) "So,
I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the
end" (The Springfield Files)
 "Now,
what you've all come here to see...HARDCORE NUDITY!"
 to 
"What are ya ganna do? Send out the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs
with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you?"
 (Examining gum on
the sidewalk while persuing Bart's trail) "His brand of gum- Doublemint.
trying to double your fun, eh, Bart? Well, I'll double your detention. I
wish someone was around to hear that." (The Boy Who Knew Too Much #1F19)
"I can't belive
it... Jerry Springer didn't solve our conflict!" (Treehouse of Horror
IX) |
