talking to on phone about a bowling team: "Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!

after rebuilt house falls apart: "Calm down, Neddilly-diddily-diddily-diddily.... They did their best.... Shoddilly-iddily-iddily-diddly... Gotta be nice.... hostility-ility-bility-dility- Aw, hell, diddly-ding-dong-crap! Can't you morons do anything right? (Hurricane Neddy #4F07)

"Bart, do you know what this means? The next time we fall asleep, we could die!" "Welcome to my world! Zzzzzz". (Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace #3F04)

after flying off a bicycle into a freshly dug grave: "Eh, this ain't so bad." (Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy #1F12)

and about : Marge's dates get homelier all the time. Mmm-hmm. That's what you get when you don't put out. (The Way It Was #7F12)

"I bent my wookie!" (Lisa's Rival #1F17)

Upon taking the picture for his driver's license: "Hot damn! No more sittin' in the dirt in the drive-in!" (Bart on the Road #3F17)

at the opera: "Jeez, no beer... no opera dogs..." (Bart the Genius #7G02)

"I thought I'd never hear the screams of pain or see the look of terror in a young man's eyes. Thank heaven for children." (Bart the General #7G05)

"I'm going to the back seat of the car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for 10 minutes!" (Life on the Fast Lane #7G11)

on men: "You're a pig. Barney's a pig. Larry's a pig. we're all pigs... once in a while, we can crawl out of the slop, hose ourselves off, and act like human beings." (Some Enchanted Evening #7G01)

"I'm only eighty-one. You may find this hard to believe, but in my salad days, my crowning glory was a bright shock of strawberry blond curls." (Simpson and Delilah #7F02)

to "Look, I know that to you we Simpsons are a lower order of life. We face that prejudice every day of our lives, but we are happy on our little planet." (Hungry of the Damned #7F04)

at a baseball game: "Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right- no, the duty- to make a complete ass of myself." (Dancin' Homer #7F05)

"Doctors! Pffft! Doctors are idiots... you can ching-ching-ching cash in on this tragedy." (Bart Gets Hit By a Car #7F10)

Upon seeing Mayor Quimby in an electric chair: "He's gonna smell like hot dogs." (Bart's playmate #5F13)