Appearance:
Overweight man stuffed in to a t-shirt 3 sizes too small.
Occupation: Purveyor of comic collectables
and memoribilia.
Education: Master's degree in folklore
and mythology.
Demeanor: Insulting, sarcastic, surly,
and rude.
Loves: Eating burritos by the wheelbarrow-full.
Hates: Getting off his stool for anything
other than a cash transaction.
Prized possession: A rare copy of Mary
Worth in which Mary advises a friend to commit suicide.
 Memorable
Quotes:
"Yes, this should provide adequate sustinance for the
Dr. Who marathon."
"Last night's 'Itchy & Scratchy' was, without a doubt, the worst
episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes, registering
my disgust throughout the world."
Sarcastic
scenes:
Comic Book Guy:
Yes, finally. I would like to return your quote-unquote ultimate belt.
Salesman: I see, you do have a receipt,
quote-unquote, sir?
Comic Book Guy: No, I do not have a
receipt. I won it as a prize at the Star Trek convention, although I find
their choice of prize highly illogical as the average trekker has no use
for a medium size belt.
Salesman: Whoa, whoa, a fat, sarcastic Star trek fan! You must be
a devil with the ladies.
Comic Book Guy: Hey, I, uh, de-oh...
Salesman: Gee, I hate to let you down,
Casanova, but no receipt, no return.
Bart: I'll give you four bucks for it.
Comic Book Guy: Huuuh. Very Well. I
must hurry back to my Comic Book Store where I dispense the insults rather
than absorb them.
Bart: (After a shopping spree at the comic
book shop) Put it all on my credit card, good man.
Comic Book Guy: Ooh, pardon me, "Santos"- if that is
your real name -Bart Simpson- but your phony credit card is not good here.
Now make like my pants and split.
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